Friday, 30 October 2015

Do You Think Anyone Listens To a Girl Like You? You're Nothing In The World...

The first time I saw Suffragette I went with Mother McKenzie. As we walked into the cinema she turned to me and asked, “I wonder if there’ll be any men in there?” Bemused, I replied “why wouldn’t there be?” It hadn’t occurred to me that a film featuring women, about women and made by women wouldn’t interest men. My mum was partially right; as we walked into the sold out screening the men were scattered gingerly amongst an ocean of women. However, this still didn’t seem abnormal to me – I felt immense happiness that a film based upon such an important part of our history drew so many to see it, proving wrong the people who said for so long that it wasn’t worth making, as it wouldn’t make any money.  And so we settled down with our Five Guys (my first, amazing) and watched Maud’s story unfold. I cried numerous times and when it ended I really, really didn’t want it to. Excitedly I turned to muma ready to discuss how stupendous the suffragettes were, how grateful I was for how they changed the future for us and just generally how brilliant the film was. “So, what did you think?!” She looked at me and pulled a face – “bit slow wasn’t it?” she responded.  I was crushed! Her so-so reaction instantly changed my perception of the movie – was it terrible? Was I just being over emotional? Was Helena Bonham Carter really that annoying?!



I wanted to know I hadn’t been wrong about Suffragette so went and saw it again the following evening with an ever so lovely friend. I snuck furtive glances at her during pivotal moments of the film and it’ll be the only time I was relieved to see her cry. I knew I hadn’t been wrong about Suffragette – it is an important movie and you should go to see it, be you male or female.  Maud repeats through the film, ‘I’m not a suffragette’ in the same manner that women around me utter ‘I’m not a feminist.’ Feminism, in it’s purest form, by definition, is advocating rights of women equal to those of men. We are worth no more, no less than our male counterparts yet there is a disparaging attitude in our society towards being a feminist. So rather than me explain again why I’m a feminist, let me use these instances to ask you why you’re not...


There was a teeny girl recently who was left needing stitches because a boy in her nursery hit her face so hard. Upon arriving at hospital an absent minded hospital worker told her, ‘he must like you’ – such a simple explanation for such inexplicable behaviour. At just four years old this girl had to not only try to comprehend  that she’d been hurt by another person, but also that this violence was actually a form of affection.  It’s an old myth that if a boy pushes you over in the playground it’s because he ‘likes’ you, but what is that teaching a young generation of girls? That you should be flattered if you get hurt by someone? That it’s acceptable or even desirable to have pain deliberately inflicted on you by another person? It doesn’t seem appropriate to telling young people this myth anymore – it excuses violent behaviour, trivialises it and even makes it endearing. If females (or males for that matter) have the idea that you’re being hurt because someone ‘likes’ you, what happens when you become the victim of assault later in life? It’s your fault because you’re just  so cute your aggressor just couldn’t help flattering you with a black eye – no, that doesn’t sound right to me either.






You may have already heard of a girl called Emma Sulkowicz, a Columbia student who carried her dorm (university to us English folk) room mattress on her back to protest the school’s failure to expel her alleged rapist. She carried this mattress around for months, even taking it to her graduation ceremony to ensure her school would have to acknowledge what happened to her.  She entitled her mattress carrying stint as Mattress Performance: Carry that Weight – representative of the burden that accompanies being a victim of abuse. While researching for this piece I read an article written by the NY times about how the accused male felt the mattress project was ‘not an act of free expression, it is an act of bullying, a very public, very personal and very painful attack.’ The accused male had three separate charges against him by three women; when the women heard about one another’s experiences they decided to support each other and file complaints (which the NY times makes it sound although they were sitting around gossiping and ‘colluded’ against him).  There was a groping case, which was initially decided against him, but he appealed. When the case was heard again the accuser was unable to participate in the process as she had graduated therefore the decision was overturned. The second accuser became exhausted by the barrage of questions and discontinued her case. Finally, in Miss Sulkowicz’s case there was not enough evidence, and her request for an appeal was denied. Why was the male’s decision to appeal his verdict granted, yet Miss Sulkowicz’s was not? Even during the trial these women were made to feel inadequate, harassed, or silenced.







‘Everyday Sexism’ is one of the most compelling cases that change is needed in societies across the world. The concept behind Everyday Sexism is that it gives women the space to speak about their experiences - however small, however severe and validate that we can complain about these incidents as they are unacceptable.  Laura Bates took thousands of stories that women submitted to her and compiled them into book format for what (I find) is a heavy, shocking and often harrowing read. There are chapters, ‘Women in Public Spaces,’ ‘Girls’ and ‘What About the Men?’ to name a few. ‘There are times I wish I wasn’t female because I’m fed up of being scared of walking down the street on my own’ is one entry. ‘I was 12 and a guy in a car followed me, saying he wanted to fuck me’ is another. One from the workplace reads ‘A HR manager told me on our first day “If you are going to report sexual harassment, first think about what you were wearing that day.”’ The point of this book isn’t to shame men, rather to help them understand the structure of patriarchy and how what may be an offhand comment to them may be humiliating and shameful for us.



Take that attitudee somewhere else pal



 The struggle to get the vote was a shockingly short time ago; a hundred years ago we were second class citizens. Although much has changed in the years since, we do still have a way to go. I want my grand-daughters to be shocked that there weren’t better support systems for the victims of sexual assault, I want them to think cat-calling is a ridiculous concept and I want them to earn as much as their brothers – I want them to look back on the things that we struggle with now and never have had to experience them because a hundred years from now our society will have developed.*





*I realise the problems I've highlighted are relative to the UK; feminism means something different in England, Ireland and India, each location facing it's own issues. Most of the negative feedback I’ve seen about Suffragette is that it represents a singular view of white women and does not encompass the lives of marginalized women worldwide. This may be true to some element, but that doesn’t take away from this film being an important representation of what happened in England during the nineteenth century. If it gets more people talking about women’s rights not only then but also of the present time, in my eyes that is a very positive thing.

Wednesday, 7 October 2015

If I Could Be Stronger and You Were Just Older, We Might Last This Out Longer..


Wet are my new favourites. Sadly because of their band name I can't tell you much about them; Google churns out lots of information about a popular Scottish band meaning I can give you plenty of Wet Wet Wet facts if you'd like (nope, not the same, I know). Their songs are beautiful, reminding me of College and Hurts, plenty of synth and whimsical lyrics. They played The Lexington the day after I left for Berlin but I hope they return soon so we can all enjoy them real life. Here's what I've been listening to, on repeat, pretty solidly, for the last few weeks.